Friday, April 19, 2013

How to make coffee with only one hand and half your sanity

I have a love/hate relationship with thoe beautiful photo tutorials featured on countless blogs I read. I am more than just a little envious and wish I had skills that would lend themselves to such creativity. You won't find any useful posts on how to turn a piece of cardboard into a new headboard here (and if you do, assume extremist crafters have gained control of the site).

However, Little Dude is sick once again and fighting a fever. For the better part of two days, he's slept and/or wanted to be held. I never mind baby cuddles, but it occasionally presents a challenge when I need to complete essential tasks. Like making coffee.

Have no fear fellow parents; I can't show you how to make a four-course meal from the six ingredients you already have in your pantry, but I can reassure you that it's possible to brew a pot of life-giving nectar with just one hand. Behold...

"Don't even think of putting me down woman. You want it bad enough, you'll figure out a way.
What you'll need. Yes, that's a salt shaker. It need not be an awesome Tiki salt shaker like mine, but bonus points if it is.

Your thoughtful spouse made enough coffee for you both, but you slept in and now the coffee maker has shut off and you know better than to re-heat coffee.

Pinch all sides of the old, used coffee filter together so grounds don't fall out.

Grab an empty plate from your stack of dirty dishes since you can't hold a hand underneath to prevent dripping onto your already offensive kitchen floor.
Empty the old coffee. EMPTY IT. This is one of those times you don't have to feel bad for wasting. Do not re-heat, because a) It's gross and b) I will judge you.

Turn on the tap with one hand, then fill tank with cold water. Don't splash your almost-sleeping baby. You'll pay for that.

Fill the reservoir without spilling and creating an extra mess to clean up afterward. The people from Hamilton Beach have thoughtfully designed it so that the water has to be poured just so at a precise angle, so as to make this task as difficult as possible.

Grind your favourite coffee. If the answer is Nabob, discontinue reading. We can no longer be friends.
Fill a clean filter with coffee and try to keep your suddenly alert one-year old from grabbing the scoop and eating the grounds. It's bad enough you already have one kid that gleefully does it.
Sprinkle a bit of salt onto the coffee. My dad does because it supposedly removes bitterness. I don't know if that's true, but he makes awesome coffee so I'm not going to argue.
Once brewed, pour into your favourite cup. Mine conveniently has a fill line.


  1. Or you could just not drink coffee. Tea is easier to make with one hand. ;)

  2. salt does remove bitterness. I've never thought about adding it to coffee. huh.