Monday, April 8, 2013

Those special times of the year, when Pinterest ruins my life

My birthday is my favourite time of year. More than Christmas and Thanksgiving and spring. Possibly because all those other occasions require work. Shopping and meal or treat prep, or cleaning and reorganizing. Or having really, really big plans to reorganize, but getting sidetracked by spring TV sweeps and the unexpected murders and plot twists that they entail. But I don't have to feel guilty about unfulfilled good intentions on my birthday, do I? Nope. I can stay in bed a little longer, eat an extra cupcake or three and let everyone else worry about disappointing me.

But it's not my birthday. It's almost Little Dude's. I know you can hardly disappoint a one-year old. As long as there are piles of tissue paper and someone sticks their head from around a corner to shout "boo!" periodically, he'll be happier than a piglet in crap. But I can disappoint all 34 of my Pinterest followers by not posting photos of beautiful plans and ideas for his upcoming party. I can disappoint Facebook by not reveling in the joy and beauty of handcrafting decorations myself, and by serving bowls of pre-made and, gasp, store-bought snacks and treats. "Somebody quick, call Child Services, she served brownie bites she bought at Costco!"

Okay fine, my friends couldn't give two licks about that. They will comment and like photos of my baby smiling and laughing and pounding a cupcake with his fist, then smearing frosting across his cheeks like war paint. Let's call a spade a spade: our kids don't care about these details whether they're turning two or 10. As long as there is candy, cake and friends, they're thrilled. We do this for ourselves. We do this to ourselves

I was up all night (I did sleep for 30 minutes before jumping out of bed like I'd been shot when the alarm went off) putting finishing touches on the party we had for Shooter's third birthday last fall because I wanted everything to be perfect. And yet there were still things I was disappointed with that just didn't look as nice as the plans I'd had in my head. She didn't care. In fact, all I wish now, is that on the morning of her party, I had enjoyed watching her laugh and shriek as she bounced on a giant trampoline instead of organizing a table of food that would soon be decimated by a crowd of hungry preschoolers.

I am not even remotely artistic. I am good at swirling yummy frosting onto cupcakes. And if someone needs me to run those cupcakes from point A to point B in roughly a six-minute kilometer, I'm your mom. But it ends there. Fortunately I have help this week from people far more talented than me. So my boy will have some pretty manly little touches that will at least make me feel like I've put in some effort, even if that effort was commissioning food and decor. So one day, when he tells me he hates me for the first time, I can show him the photo album and be like, "See? See how much work I put into pretending to be great mother just for you?"

And if all goes well, I won't be up until 5 a.m. faking it and Child Services won't come knocking on my door. Not that day anyway.


  1. We do put crazy expectations on ourselves don't we? And you're right - the kids could care less!

  2. I have a love hate relationship with Pinterest, I love pinning, but hate that one day my kids may actually expect me to recreate what I've pinned. I promise not to send Child Services over to your place after they've visited mine....maybe (if you start doing some cool pinable things all bets are off)

  3. Oh man, don't let the interwebz ruin it for you. Enjoy your little guy's birthday. Make some cupcakes. And to hell with the Pinterest wars.

  4. We are such a competition oriented society. I think because we are no longer fighting for food or shelter we revert to one-upping. I am sure your little guy's first birthday will be great.

  5. I think of pinterest as a "maybe one day" corkboard of ideas. I don't think many moms actually have the time to make half the stuff that is up there. The kids don't care. :)