Sunday, December 29, 2013

War cry of the marshmallow cookies. They don't stand a chance.

I have a love-hate relatioship with this time of year. I love the family time, Mr. T's vacation days that allow us to hang out in our pyjamas past 9 a.m. and the excuse to add Bailey's to my coffee every morning without worrying I have a problem.

I don't enjoy the crowded roads and stores, impatient people on those roads and in those stores, and the inevitable panic and anxiety that creeps up every year as the holidays wrap up. You can practically set your watch by it.

For the most part, I'm able to see the blessings more than the bad. This year, I haven't had to increase my dosage of meds, and have therefore, felt for more present than I did last year. Which goes hand-in-hand with the vicious circle of those panic attacks. Less medication means I feel more, both good and bad.

The past several weeks have been a revolving door of bronchitis and colds in our household. This is also the time of year where I feel the need to hyper control every aspect of the impending new year. The exhaustion of illness and the motivation required to set goals are about as compatible as Kim Kardashian and the general public.

I could say I want to get our house in a more harmonious state. Except the desire usually lasts until I get one look at our disaster of a pantry or hall closet and I remember why my most effective and desireable method of organization involves flammable liquid and a lighter.

I was eating relatively a relatively clean diet until roughly December 21. Now, I am in the midst of a trans fat genocide, however my means of exterminating the remaining candy cane Viva Puffs involves using my mouth, instead of a green garage bag (it's festive!) for disposal. Effective for the purposes of elimation. Not so effective for fitting into any pants that are not leggings on January 2.

Perhaps my goals need to be more realistic.

- Keep the children alive by whatever means possible in 2014, despite their penchant for power tools and UFC-worthy death matches (we'll probably need to re-think the miniature hockey sticks we brought home as party favours a few weeks ago).

- Drink healthier by replacing some wine with the serving of vegetables found in Clamato and a garnish of celery and pickled asparagus. Plus, this assists in the goal of being more patriotic, thanks to the Caesar's origins and Olympic-friendly colour.

- Show more grace. To those people in the crowded stores and to myself.**

** I reserve the right to leave notes on the windshields of People Who Park Like Douchenozzles.

- Turn People Who Park Like Douchnozzles into a regular blog feature. Because surely there must be redemption in public shaming and mockery.

Blessings, joy and strong coffee to all in 2014!


  1. Yay for Bailey's! I may be looking for my 4th today. I need to 'dispose' of this bottle before Jan 1st don'tcha know.

    1. It would be a shame to waste it and January 1 is all about getting back on track. Eradicate the temptations now!